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Dock
of the Bay 2002 Honoree
THERE'S
SOMETHING ABOUT MARIA!
by Jed
Ryan
 Who is Maria Mezzatesta? For over 10 years, she's been a dedicated
activist and spokesperson for Long Island's lesbian, gay,
bisexual, transgendered, and HIV-affected communities. Back
in 1993, she co-founded Long
Island Gay and Lesbian Youth (LIGALY). Today, she works
full time as Assistant Director of Positive Space, a program
of the AIDS Division of FEGS,
the largest non-for-profit health-related and human service
organization in the U.S. Using her skills as a certified Social
Worker, Maria also sees clients privately on a part-time basis.
Maria has entered the living rooms of dozens of members of
our community, as one of the hosts of "The
Rainbow Connection," Long Island's GLBT public access
TV show. In February 2003, Maria Mezzatesta will add another
role to her life-- the role of mother. Yes, Maria is expecting--
and it's twins! Maria, who has shared her life with partner
Kathy Rosenthal for six years, says of her pregnancy with
twins, "We're a little shocked, but we'll be grateful!" Maria
realizes that being an activist hasn't always been easy. "People
get burnt out. They tend to overdo it. There's too much to
do, and there's a shortage of dedicated individuals." Yet
Maria has met that challenge and continues to set an example
for other activists. What motivates her? "A passion," she
responds.
Maria Mezzatesta was always interested in the humanities and
the social sciences. Her undergraduate degree is in Business
Management, and went on to pursue her Masters in Social Work
at SUNY Stony Brook. Although Maria states that she's been
out since her early 20's, it was in graduate school that she
was, in her own words, "really" out as opposed to "selectively"
out. At her alma mater, she became Co-Chair of the Lesbian,
Gay, and Bisexual Social Work Caucus. Maria recalls being
inspired by the Mission of Stony Brook's School of Social
Welfare, which is to create social change and to help oppressed
people. Another inspiring moment came when Maria was working
as a bartender. (Her nickname at that time was "M.J.") A bar
patron, who knew that Maria was a lesbian but wasn't exceptionally
vocal about her sexual orientation, told her, "You perpetuate
the prejudice against you by your silence." Another similar
situation came when Maria was vacationing in P-Town in 1990.
She was wearing a T-shirt that displayed a pink triangle along
with German anti-Nazi activist Pastor Martin Niemoller's famous
statement that began with, "First they came for the Jews and
I did not speak out-- because I was not a Jew.".. and ends
with "Then they came for me-- and by then there was no one
left to speak out for me." A gay store owner challenged Maria,
asking her, "Would you wear that T-shirt at home?," implying
that many lesbians and gay men are only out in "gay" places
like P-Town. Maria interpreted these events as a realization
that lesbians and gay men don't have as much of a visible
presence in society as we should, except in marginalized areas
like Greenwich Village. She came to realize the philosophy
that she still firmly believes in today: "You should be who
you are WHEREVER you are. I felt the need to let the
world know who I was-- fully, not just on occasions like the
Parade." At Stony Brook, Maria met David Kilmnick, who was
also pursuing his Masters. The two became friends and did
a Speaker's Bureau together as their Masters project, and
LIGALY was subsequently created in David's apartment. P-FLAG
(Parents - Family / Friends of Lesbian And Gays) then sponsored
an event with a gay college network. All these groups came
into LIGALY," Maria explains. Because the need for an organization
like LIGALY was so great, the idea took off very quickly.
"It was exciting," recalls Maria. At LIGALY, Maria facilitated
a women's group and was involved with dealing with the "direct,
hands-on" aspects of the organization.
Maria completed her degree in 1993, but left LIGALY in 1995
to explore other options to best utilize her activism, especially
with regard to helping the HIV affected population. She served
on the Board of the now-defunct organization CERF-PAC (Citizens
For Equal Rights Fund Political Action Committee) from 1995
to 1996. She also became more involved with The Rainbow Connection
TV show, working behind the scenes and serving as a co-host
for the past five years. "I enjoy doing the show. We need
to have a face and a presence. Gay people, especially those
in the closet, need to know there's a gay community. Kathy
and I can be anywhere-- the mall, Cherry Grove-- and people
recognize us from TV. They're thankful that we were there
before they came out" Maria works full-time for the Long Island
Division of FEGS, in the HIV/AIDS program. She works very
closely with HIV- and AIDS-affected people, with emphasis
on the areas of prevention, planning, service, and advocacy.
Maria states, "It's my job, but it's also my passion." She
works with a program that includes therapists and peer advocate
leaders (PAL's). Maria also serves on the Steering Council
for SPARC,
Suffolk County Project for AIDS Resource Coordination;
as well as on the Board of "Response," a 24-hour phone-in
suicide prevention line in Suffolk. She is Chairperson of
the Nassau-Suffolk HIV CARE (Comprehensive AIDS Resource Emergency)
Network, which requires her to help determine the most effective
way to allocate Ryan White II funding for our area. "We have
to determine our needs, improve service delivery, and represent
people living with HIV and AIDS." In addition to her activist
work, Maria runs her own private practice in East Patchogue
as a therapist to a diverse, mostly GLBT clientele. She also
works as an Adjunct Professor at Stony Brook's School of Social
Welfare, teaching classes such as "Overview of Lesbian and
Gay Issues" and a core class called "Human Behavior and the
Social Environment."
"We've
created change. We've become more visible, more present. We've
made changes right here in Nassau and Suffolk County. Where
there's more visibility, there's more acceptance. Today, it's
not uncommon to discuss lesbian and gay issues in government
agencies, businesses, and other organizations. Change takes
sacrifice. It doesn't just come with time. It's the people.
Real change is one small step at a time-- one person, one
agency. It shouldn't be based on a 'mob mentality' or on 'group-think'
(a phenomenon by which thought is based partially by conformity
to group values and ethics). That doesn't make for effective
change." As an example of positive changes in society, Maria
brings up churches. "Many churches now accept lesbian and
gay people," she adds, using the Parish of St.
Julian of Norwich in Brookhaven, where her friend Lynette
Curley is a Deacon. Maria sometimes plays guitar at the Church.
She points out changes in the media as well. "'Roseanne' had
a bisexual character (Sandra Bernhard as 'Nancy"), and now
we have many lesbian and gay characters, thanks to lesbian
and gay writers in Hollywood who have come out. My Mom and
Dad are from the 'old generation,' but my Dad laughs at 'Will
and Grace.' Things like this create change."
Maria and Kathy live in East Patchogue with their two cats,
Tina and Duncan. In their spare time, they enjoy boating (Maria
has had a boat for 11 years) and skiing. "We go skiing every
two weeks in the winter," Maria states. The two also enjoy
taking trips. Like Maria, Kathy also works for FEGS and also
is heavily involved with activism in the GLBT community. "We
fit together. We love that we share that together," Maria
adds. The two are happy about starting a family. "We've been
blessed. For so long I've been pouring my energy out to the
community, and now I want to pour it into those who will stick
around!"
Maria Mezzatesta is a true heroine in the Long Island lesbian,
gay, bisexual, transgendered, and HIV-affected community and
a role model for people worldwide who desire to change society
for the better. Many activists in the lesbian and gay community
leave the suburbs for the big cities, where they believe that
they will be more accepted, their efforts will be more appreciated,
and their goals will be achieved faster. But Maria has utilized
resources on Long Island as well as her own talents, and has
made everlasting changes. Through her efforts, an infinite
number of people have benefited-- and will continue to benefit.
What advice does Maria give us? "Since September 11th (2001),
we've all seen how fragile life is." Indeed, Maria lost a
cousin, a NYC firefighter, in the attack. She visited Ground
Zero and, in her own words, was in mourning until only a few
months ago. "Living fully is living free. Don't put off living.
How many times have we heard 'After I do this...' or 'If only...'
or 'When I get...?' There's nothing like laying your head
down at night and feeling good and free about who you are."
Thanks to Maria, many members of our community will.
Long
Island Rainbow Connection
P.O. Box 200
Bohemia, NY 11716
www.LIRainbow.org
FEGS
Long Island Positive Space
6900 Jericho Turnpike, Suite 306
Syosset, NY 11791
(516) 496-7550 / (516) 364-0794
(631) 589-5465
www.fegs.org
MMezzatesta@fegs.org
Maria
Mezzatesta, C.S.W.
Kathy Rosenthal, C.S.W.
Counseling (631) 447-7773
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