The subculture of gender illusionism has come a long way. Over the years we've seen drag go from the hush-hush, underground New York City drag "balls" in the 1960's (which were highly illegal at the time), to 2002, where the year promises former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani to appear on "Queer As Folk" in drag. (Hopefully, a look that aspiring queens WON'T try to copy!) and political candidates as well as mainstream celebrities appear at Manhattan's annual WIgstock. Along the way, drag has infiltrated the mainstream, with the zenith probably being in the mid 90's, when mainstream actors vied for the three leads in the 1994 big budget drag queen road movie "To Wong Foo..." (Matt Dillon and Eric Stolz reportedly tried out and lost.), and there was even a short-lived, unfunny Fox TV sitcom (Remember "Ask Harriet" in 1997? Don't worry... no one else does either.) Luckily, the art of drag has survived efforts to sell out to mainstream America and has thrived. As I've said before, gender illusionism isn't just about "looking female." Creativity, sense of humor, developing one's personal talents, and connecting with the audience are far more important.

Auntie M's Bar and Lounge, similarly, has come a long way-- proving itself to be the little bar that could. Not content with being just another Long Island gay and lesbian watering hole, the owners of Auntie M's never ceased to stick to their "There's no place like home" philosophy with their customers and the GLBT community. They also continue to overcome the challenges of the competitive bar and club scene, where shifting loyalties by our fickle community, combined with more choices for gay nightlife in this day and age, often means major angst for bar and club owners. Nevertheless, Auntie M's has not only thrived but spread their sense of community into philanthropy, forming Auntie M's Helping Hands, Inc. about a year ago.

On Sunday, February 17th, any guy, girl, or in-between seeking to learn more about the diversity and creativity of gender illusionism, as well as help out one of our community's most ambitious new charities, got their chance at the third annual Miss Auntie M's Pageant. The creators of the Pageant made several new, exciting changes for this year's event. Moving the Pageant to the Vanderbilt, which featured a HUGE stage framed with two giant video screens, was one. The second was the choice of lovely Miss Ariel Sinclair as Hostess. Not content to be just another blonde, willowy, "Look-at-me-I'm-so-beautiful" drag diva, Ariel is a gifted comedienne as well. Her sexy charms combined with her raunchy, "I-can't-belive-she-just-said-that!" humor are reminiscent of MTV's blonde sex-pot Jenny McCarthy. Britney Spears, one of Ariel's inspirations, may sing, "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman" on her new CD, but there's no mistaking which one Ariel's Britney was that night, singing Britney's "I Love Rock and Roll" dressed in bad-girl black. (Incidentally, Ariel confessed to me that she hadn't yet seen Britney's new movie, "Crossroads," by the time of the Pageant.) At one point, Ariel held up the envied crown that one lucky girl would go home with that night. She also led the audience and Judges in a moment of silence to remember the victims of September 11th.

In another welcome addition, the Creators of this year's Pageant took steps to move things along much faster than 2001's event. The result was a slimmed down, much smoother Pageant which never, um... dragged, despite being over six hours long.

After the 12 Semifinalists (No longer "contestants!") were presented, we were treated to a performance by the Reigning Miss Auntie M's 2001, Mirkala Crystal, in shimmering scarlet Western-style gear which complimented her Titian-colored hair. Ariel then proceeded to announce the beneficiaries of the event: Auntie M's Helping Hands, Inc., and Long Island Lesbian Cancer Initiative (LILCI). She then introduced the Panel of Judges, which included Diane Bruessow (community activist, Founder and Coordinator of LILCI, and frequent contributor to the L.I. Pride Discussions eGroup), Maryann Murphy (AMHH volunteer, who joked, "I'm in drag tonight!," referring to her shoulder-baring black gown), Chris King (AMHH volunteer and bartender at Auntie M's), Ted Varvatos (Non-vegetarians and vegetarians alike can visit Ted at Boulder Creek Steakhouse at the Broadway Mall, Hicksville.), Peaches (who proves that a great cocktail can really bring the community together), and Dean Vassalli, Head Judge (To which Ariel quickly inserted her own "give head" joke), Owner of Curl Up and Dye Hair Salon in Copiague. For inquiring minds that want to know, the judging process is actually very complex, encompassing MANY different fine details about the semifinalist's look, act, presentation, and personality. The overall rating for each performer is cumulative, rather than a general impression. In other words, a semifinalist who scores lower in one segment can rise to the occasion in another. Of course, unless a queen is imitating a pre-makeover Courtney Love, there's no excuse for messy hair, unskilled makeup, or evening gowns too short at the sleeve showing off hairy wrists. Luckily, there was very little of that at this Pageant! The Judges also had the privilege of giving grades for "Transformation," with the help of photographs, from the Semifinalists' everyday male looks to their drag personas-- very thrilling and at times, downright shocking!.

Miss January, Mikita Powers, jumped on the newly reborn interest in America's most enduring gay icon, Judy Garland. Mikita performed Judy's "Get Happy" in one of Judy's trademark outfits, black hat and abbreviated tuxedo. Yet Mikita was a healthier, more polished, possibly more dynamic Judy. As we all know, Judy, despite her great voice, had issues. Thankfully, Mikita didn't feel the need to mimic Judy by coming out on stage high, drunk, and/or bloated. Mikita emerged lovely in lavender for the evening gown competition, showing the meaning of "graceful." Cotton Candy Connie, Miss February, knew how to use campy humor without breaking into tastelessness or desperation. She showed the importance of eyes, mouth, and facial expressions when performing. Portraying a buxom dame who's been wronged, she performed the camp classic "Take Back Your Mink" which cumulated into a frenzied old-style striptease. Connie emerged later in pale yellow 50's prom-queen style gown but inexplicably lost her heels! Was this a cryptic symbolism for her young debutante losing her virginity after the prom that night? Hmmm... Statuesque Tabitha Rivers, Miss April, can always be relied upon for outrageous humor-- and in the talent segment, her humor was VERY black indeed! In a delightfully twisted act, she played a woman scorned who apparently took her fury to the extreme with her ex-lover. Tabitha knows the RIGHT way to lip-synch-- using eye contact with the audience and facial expressions to maximum effect. This queen can give fashion tips for style-clueless tall (biological) girls. Avoca Rain, Miss June, is one of the most artistic and creative gender illusionists out there today. With her ultra-elaborate creations, she never disappoints. For the talent segment, she portrayed an aging, washed-up hooker (Think of a Bea Arthur who never made it.) whose claim to fame was being with 15,000 men (count 'em-- 15,000!). Avoca took a little-heard gem of a song, and devised a highly original act-- simple yet elaborate at the same time-- to go along with it, complete with wild facial expressions. She received a standing ovation. Avoca elicited gasps from the audience again when she brought new meaning to the term "evening gown" later on. Picture an inspired Marie Antoinette attending a costume ball in ninteenth-century France, and you'll get the idea-- actually, no... you won't even scratch the surface! Her gown was embroidered with butterflies, and-- most impressively, had full-sized angel wings with real feathers! To top it off, Avoca crowned herself with a blue pompadour with falling ringlets. Alexis Flame, Miss July, emerged in an aquamarine dress dripping with sequins-- which showed itself at times to be dangerously short during her dynamic dance moves. Pity the poor cameraman trying to keep up with Alexis to film her! In other words, she really knows how to dance! Alexis won the Award for Miss Congeniality later that night. Big and beautiful Lady Ivanna, giving new meaning to the term "voluptuous," first came out in a larger-than-life black, dominatrix-flavored ensemble, complete with towering headdress. She then emerged in scarlet sequined dress and flame red hair. Ivanna was amazingly graceful and light on her feet-- and received applause for her shimmying moves. She later received thunderous applause when asked, during the Q&A Competition, how she'd react if a prospective partner didn't "approve" of her performing drag. Ivanna responded that if a potential love interest couldn't accept it, she couldn't continue in the relationship. Good for her! Monica Storm, Miss September, presented the first avant-garde gender illusionism we've seen on Long Island for a while. To a thick exotic Eastern rhythm, Monica not only gave the audience a taste of world music, but demonstrated her ability to lip-synch in a foreign language (Do you think that's easy?!) and accurately reproduce authentic costume and dance. Admittedly, I don't know if her act was Indian- or Middle-Eastern influenced, but it wins my award for originality! It came as no surprise that later, in the Q&A Competition, Monica revealed that when not performing, she works in the cosmetic industry and admires MAC spokesperson and drag pioneer RuPaul.

Moving from world music to pure burlesque, Miss October, the outrageous Sugga Pie Koko came out with another highly original-- but definitely NOT polite-- or politically correct-- routine. With her hair in curlers, wearing a totally tacky muumuu, and snuggling her "baby" in between her boobs, Miss Koko gave another example about how a woman scorned can go a little... well, "loco." Or, in Sugga Pie's case, VERY crazy! Clearly inspired by the late great Divine, she sniffed mock cocaine, shot up with a mock needle, and cumulated into a frenzy in which she pulled her wig off. Hey, we even saw a flash of breast! Offensive? maybe... but hasn't one of the responsibilities of drag always been to break the rules? Miss November, Chelsea Raines, emerged to remind us why Tina Turner is a living legend. Resembling a younger, more lithe Tina, Chelsea performed "Proud Mary" in a gold dress seemingly designed just for shimmying. What a crowd pleaser - and another standing ovation! Miss December, Princess Janae, did a very different kind of act. Rather than doing a song, she performed a montage of the campiest lines from movies like "Waiting to Exhale," "Torch Song Trilogy," "Mommie Dearest" (the camp classic of them all!), and even lines from the Tourette's Syndrome-affected character in "Deuce Bigalow!" Inspired by drag diva Lypsinka, this highly original act, complimented by dynamic body language, brought the audience to tears. And what a body! Princess Janae later emerged in a breathtaking canary yellow evening gown.

Chelsea Raines, Monica Storm, Avoca Rain, Princess Janae, and Lady Ivanna were named the five finalists. Chelsea Raines proceeded to be awarded Second Runner-up, and Monica Storm was Awarded First Runner-up. Princess Janae, Miss December, was Honored with the Title of Miss Auntie M's 2002.

A total of $730 was raised in the 50/50 Raffle. Community activist Eddie Finan won half of that, but generously donated the money back to charity, in the spirit of philanthropy. Buy this man a Zima the next time you see him at the bar as a "Thank you!" Also spotted that night were an out-of drag Peter ("Pep" Miller), GALFOLI's Barry Jones and Jim Coppola, LICKtheWeb.com Publisher Louis Trapani, Long Island Pride Parade Inc.'s front-man (and regular contributor to LICKtheWeb.com) Jim Pizzo, Steven Flynn, Harold O'Brien, and many of Auntie M's loyal family, including my fellow West Hempstead neighbor Bill, John Schimmell (Shade 516) and husband Greg, who were celebrating John's birthday (and no, I'm not saying WHICH birthday it was! Ask him yourself!). The owners and staff of Auntie M's Bar and Lounge, who work all year long on the Miss Auntie M's Pageant, are readily looking forward to the next one in 2003. They thanked the sponsors, patrons, advertisers, and of course, all the participating Semifinalists who made the spectacular night possible.

So much drama, so little time... Don't miss it in 2003!

Faces in the Crowd at the Miss Auntie M's Pageant 2002

Photos by Louis Trapani and Jed Ryan