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By
Lady Ashley Brooke & Ivana Adulation
In
case you missed it, our sister Priscilla
Pride
reported our arrival in her last posting:
HOT
OFF THE PRESS... EXTRA, EXTRA!!... EXCLUSIVE TO COMMUNITY
CONNECTION...
This
just came in over my fax at home. My two soul mates, Lady
Ashley Brooke & Ivana Adulation, moved back to Long
Island. Lady Ashley Brooke was forced to leave England when
the scandal broke. According to The London STAR, it was Lady
who forced fed Fergie those cookies and pies causing Fergie
to lose her Weight Watcher's contract. I don't buy it. The
cookies in question were OREOS... please... anyone who is
anyone knows Lady only sucks down MILANOS and only Mint flavored
at that. As for Ivana... well, let's just say no one in her
entourage is speaking or leaking any news of Ivana being escorted
out of Russia. Rumor has it that Ivana's animal fetishes rival
that of Catherine The Great, horses and all! HHHMMM, I hear
the braying now!!! Giddy up, WHOA, NOOOOO! Well, COMMUNITY
CONNECTION's got them for a new article entitled LA VUE.
I hear tell that they will review anything from CDs to theater,
from restaurants to fashion trends on Long Island. Their first
assignment will be a review of The Rocky Horror Show
performed at Forevergreen
on 9/28, 9/29 & 9/30. I can't wait!
Well
dears we have arrived! Lady Ashley and Ivana are here to tell
you that we are so excited about this latest gig. La Vue,
in Community Connection on www.licktheweb.com,
will always devilishly and deliciously whet your appetite
for what you ‘need to know about NYC/L.I. live theatre,
music and our Long Island GLBT groups'. As for Priscilla's
Extra!?... well, not that we want to throw stones her way,
but, has anyone ever found out the truth about the scandal
involving Priscilla and Dame Edna? We hear tell that the two
of them gave new meaning to the term ‘Down Under'!
Suffice it to say that between the three of us, Lady Ashley
Brooke/Ivana Adulation/Priscilla Pride, your LONG ISLAND social
news will be hot, saucy and full of style and flair!
Lady
Ashley & Ivana want you to know that we are ready to bring
you our honest, yet stylish reviews. We promise all of you
cutie pies that if we can get our article posted before a
particular theatrical event is slated to lower its curtain,
we will. If not, c'est la vie, you should have been there
in the first place!
The
Premier of LA
VUE:
"Come
On Along and Listen To, The Lullaby of Broadway!"
Long Island recently experienced
a severe earthquake-like tremor! It wasn't an ordinary tremor
but scary nonetheless. Do you remember Ivana? It was the
night we toured Long Island in my limo. You with your young
stud and me eating... never mind! I swear the local colleges
are planning a bulletin warning their coeds to beware of
a dame named IVANA! Yes Ashley, I remember. It was the night
we were in your limo fixing your makeup. I had a helluva
time too trying to put that lipstick on when all that crème got in the way. Does anyone
know how to get pastry crème out of silk? I think
those 4 cream puffs should have sent a warning signal to
you and your hips Ashley!
It's
coming back to us now... The crowd rocked the bar. Miss
Venise Charles did not one but two cartwheels and the
audience stood and cheered the cast, crew and organizers of
the truly wonderful fundraising event at Forevergreen
this past September 28th, 29th & 30th - THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW! All
performances sold out and the money raised went to Forevergreen's
Breast Cancer Research fundraising efforts. Forevergreen's
annual event took place on October 4th through
the 6th and grossed close to $25,000 this year!
Camille Gnolfo - Lady Ashley and Ivana send big, wet juicy
kisses to you and your volunteers. WE LOVE YOU!
Long
Island let me tell you, the star of the ROCKY HORROR extravaganza
Ms. Ellen Lambert set the stage on fire! She has such
range and stage presence. Ellen played the lead, Dr. Frank
N. Furter.
At
one point I forgot that it was Ellen and not a man, right
Ivana? I'll say! Ashley wasn't that the moment you gasped
and whispered to me, "Oh my God, it's my first ex-husband
Count Maximillian Factour!" Yes Ivana and then you asked
me wasn't he the one I dumped and then he changed his name
to Max Fact... I said, IVANA, quiet please! I told you that
the divorce decree states I can't say his new name publicly
until 2010.
I
started crying but I have to deal with it once and for all.
Long Islanders and Ivana, here it is the truth. This was the
hubby who upon my early return from that Cosmetic Surgery
Convention I found in my clothes using my own unique make-up
that I designed. I kicked him out but did not discover he
stole my make-up kit until much later. By then that scandal
broke about that plastic surgeon and me and of course I had
to drop the whole suit against Maximillian. Oh right Ashley
darling, now I remember. I remember that scandal had something
to do with the good doctor writing prescriptions for Post
Surgical Cream with you as its poster child, only to find
out that it was Preparation-H
in a jar. You poor thing, you sure can pick them can't you
Ashley? Yeah, and then I find out that after the divorce was
final Maximillan's new cosmetic firm signed on such clients
as Liz Taylor and other Hollywood starlets and they all made
millions. I still get mad! That line of cosmetics and the
profit should be mine. Now Ashley, just think if that didn't
happen you never would have met husband #2, the multi-millionaire
who made his fortune in Kitty Litter, but that's another story,
bitchy/catty if you catch the drift... or is that the cat's
box again?
Ivana
please, let's get back to the review. Ellen was simply perfection
in her lead role. George was simply divine as The Monster.
Ivana, weren't you married to him once? I saw you drooling
that night and couldn't put my finger on it! I said to myself,
Ashley -- Ivana knows him from somewhere and you do too don't
you? He's young and cute and... wait a minute! Didn't you
baby-sit him many, many, MANY years ago? Ashley, can we please
drop George? Suffice it to say that he is still young and
hunky and was fabulous in the show. I will get you dear Ashley,
wait and see! Ivana, don't be mad. I just thought you would
be proud to see one of your foundlings fully-grown and so
full of talent.
Kids,
all who saw the show know that it raised oodles of money for
the Breast Cancer Fund-Raiser held annually at Forevergreen's
and was smashing! To all involved, you were simply heaven!
Ivana
here! If you can only buy one ticket this season to a show,
good luck! So many fabulous theatrical extravaganzas just
opened on The Great White Way. For you in the know guys and
gals of course I mean Broadway, not some famous female R&B
singer's stairway to paradise! No names needed of course.
I am so full of wit. Need you Stan! (He's my new secretary,
sorry for the interruption but I need some research as only
he can do).
 Three
HOT shows right now are Urinetown, The Women and that fabulous
revival at the Brooks Atkinson Theatre, NOISES
OFF! Patti Lupone, Peter Gallagher, Faith Prince
and the rest of this divine cast had me in stitches from Act
1 to the final curtain. I advise you senior guys and gals
to wear a June Allyson bladder pad... you simply will laugh
so hard you'll wet yourself.
This
truly heavenly farcical comedy has a British theatrical troupe
performing a play set in the UK countryside around various
towns in England. (Lady Ashley sold me her ticket to this
show. Apparently the scandal still has her unnerved when it
comes to anything British. Poor dear, I hear she flinches
at the very mention of the word QUEEN).
ACT
1 outlines the rehearsal process and the play within the play
looks doomed from the get-go! ACTS 2 and 3 take the show on
the road. ACT 2 brings us the backstage perspectives on a
night when company members are not getting along yet have
to perform together. ACT 3 shows us what can happen to a production
when anything you thought of that might go wrong and does,
and how that affects anyone's performance.
From
Patti Lupone's sardines to doors slamming, from supposed famed
Brit actors fallen off the wagon to the director courting
2 woman -- the stage manager and one of the leads, from an
actor who faints at the sight of his blood to actors/actresses
having passionate and hateful moments.
I
feel this cast is truly magnificent and smell Tony nominations
for a few if the nominating committee can get over themselves.
Over these past few years some truly divine sets, actors and
other worthy nominees were over looked by members of the nominating
committee based on who was not boffing whom any longer. DARLINGS...
PLEASE... GET OVER IT! If you're not boffed any longer you
probably weren't all that great to boff with to begin with,
but should that really carry any weight when it comes to awards?
Oh you pedestrian Americans! I miss Europe. The talented always
get peer adulation and the trashier the dirt only makes for
more award nominations. The fun is watching the acceptance
speeches to see if they will bring any fuel for the tabloids.
TONYs, please get with the program darlings!
So
run to NOISES
OFF and see what the buzz is all about. It opened
November 1st and the reviews are faboo, that means tickets
will be as scarce as hair spray after a drag queen touches
up her coiffure. Go! Buy! You'll laugh out loud.
 The
Women is a revival of the Claire Booth Luce play
that is remembered fondly by gays and lesbians across the
globe through the 1938 film of the same name. It starred Norma
Shearer, Joan Crawford and Rosalind Russell, Paulette Goddard
and many more Hollywood starlets at that time. We hear tell
that present-day television, film and Broadway actresses clawed
their way to the audition to get seen.
Set
in 1936, The
Women is a gleefully malicious comedy that shines
a spotlight on a sheltered Park Avenue wife (Nixon) whose
pristine life is turned topsy-turvy by the senseless gossip
of her so-called girlfriends and by a philandering husband.
Director
Scott Elliott assembled a fine cast headed by Cynthia Nixon,
one of the VIXENS from Sex And The City. Costarring
with her are Kristen Johnson from Third Rock From The Sun,
Jennifer Tilly from films, Rue McClanahan of Golden Girl
fame and many more. Now if director Elliot could have helped
these gals talk with one another and not scream at each other
the show would have been much better. We thought there were
priceless scene gems, right Ashley? Oh yes Ivana. How about
that one woman who was smoking and drinking socially through
all her pregnancies, she was a scream! Her name is Jennifer
Coolidge. She was in films such as Best In Show and
Legally Blonde and she was a scream in both those films
too.
The
show is at the American Airlines Theater on 42nd
Street and has been extended into January 2002. It is fun,
bitchy, and has a faboo catfight and Tilly in a brief nudie
moment... what a sight! Nice body but one sees that Tilly's
hairdresser is not the only one who knows for sure, catch
the drift here? One of the many stars of the night is the
wardrobe designed by Isaac Mizrahi. They are spot on to the
30's, lavish and stylish. Oh, Isaac it is so good to see you
back on top again! Please stay there darling. We need you!
So,
dears till next time. We bid you adieu! See you soon on licktheweb.com.
Ashley,
put those cookies down! I will Ivana as soon as you get down
from that horse, bitch!
Bye!
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