I'VE GOT + YOU'VE GOT = WE'VE GOT?
"Proper tense makes perfect sense!"

By Jim Pizzo

I don't like the song title. I cringe when I see the AOL greeting or the movie title that stars Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks. The camel's back finally snapped when I saw a recent Gateway commercial.

What am I talking about? The song title is I've Got You Under My Skin, the AOL greeting and movie title is You've Got Mail, and the commercial in question shows a man speaking to a cow (Gateway's symbol) saying, "We've got trouble!" My complaints aren't falling on deaf software creators' ears. Just now MS WORD called up the words Got, I've and You've in all examples, cited poor grammar and offered fixes. It proves to me that verb tense and proper grammar are as important to the software gods as they are to me.

We know that a contraction shortens two words by omitting letters. So expanding the contractions above, here is how they'd read: I've Got You Under My Skin becomes I Have Got You Under My Skin, You've Got Mail becomes You Have Got Mail and We've got trouble becomes We have got trouble. All of these are excellent examples of phrases in 'present conditional' tense. My research showed that most foreign languages use this tense quite often. Looking in many web sites each stated that present conditional is not common in English grammar. If that's so, then why are the above phrases and others like them used quite often in print and TV ads, as well as in news reports? I believe that some of today's writers use these phrases to catch our attention. History shows that such phrases, when used often, gradually become acceptable in everyday conversation.

Sentences are written in 'active voice' or 'passive voice' (unfortunately there are no color codes or justify left or right indicators associated with good grammar, as with other active/passive uses). Passive voice implies passive verb tense. Acceptable? Sure. Dull? In everyday use, yes indeed! Grammatically correct as the above examples are, I ask you, who speaks in the 'present conditional' tense or any conditional for that matter? Present conditional tense is frequently used in passive voice sentences. A brief passive voice explanation from the Internet states:

"Sometimes the use of passive voice can create awkward sentences. Also, overuse of passive voice throughout an essay can cause your prose to seem flat and uninteresting. In scientific writing, however, passive voice is more readily accepted since using it allows one to write without using personal pronouns or the names of particular researchers as the subjects of sentences. This practice helps to create the appearance of an objective, fact-based discourse because writers can present research and conclusions without attributing them to particular agents. Instead, the writing appears to convey information that is not limited or biased by individual perspectives or personal interests."

I offer the following suggestions: Song title - I Got You Under My Skin, AOL greeting that inspired the movie title - You Have Mail, Gateway commercial ad copy - "We're in trouble!"

Our youth have access to more information than ever before. The media barrage us with sound bites, rapid fire edited commercials in MTV style and news programs that last for 1-2 hours. Those responsible need to respect our kids and us. The writers and proofreaders should take a grammar and vocabulary refresher course. We must arm our children with the best tools to insure their success. A great vocabulary and proper grammar are two of those tools and I take umbrage with anyone who diminishes their importance.

We must become 'good grammar' watchdogs. Listen carefully to the dialogue in the drama/comedy programs your families watch and to the news programs as well. Note on a pad the poor grammar choices; it will astound you. Jot down grammatically correct examples too. Explain to anyone who will listen that we must hold our media accountable for proper grammar and good vocabulary.

Don't be afraid to write the networks and the cable stations informing them about their language responsibilities and citing poor grammar. In most cases they should be pleased that a) you're watching and b) you're a concerned individual.

Those conditioned to writing and speaking in the present conditional tense might say:

"Man, he's got issues with poor grammar. He's got this under his skin so tight that he's got mailmen sending this complaint far and wide. Well buddy, you've got the right to an opinion."

One simpler way to say the same thing:

"Obviously he's concerned about good grammar usage. Whether I agree with him or not, he's entitled to his opinion."

If I were a fellow present conditional user I'd say, "Yes, I've got this under my skin and I've got to make sure that I convey the correct message to my niece and nephew". I certainly don't ever plan to say, "We've got trouble!"

My niece and nephew are very bright students (uncles must boast and brag). The examples of present conditional, though grammatically correct, are not practical in everyday conversation. I want to make my niece and nephew aware so they can discern for themselves that turn of the phrase that presents them in their best light.

A recent radio commercial stated that in business meetings or social settings someone using poor grammar and vocabulary makes a worse impression than having bad breath. Both definitely offend me for different reasons. They each offend a sense; one is smell and the other hearing. In my opinion, I can move away from the person with bad breath and choose not to speak with them, yet, remarks from the person with a poor vocabulary and misguided grammar will linger long in my mind.

Ogden Nash, poet, wrote one verse that I always recall, "Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker." I would never presume to be in the same league as Mr. Nash. However, I offer, "Proper tense is common sense, but good grammar builds stamina!"

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