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Dating. Are
You Terminally Single?
By Jimmy Ward
Today I called a good friend that I hadn't
talked to in quite awhile. After the initial "hello's"
and obligatory chitchat she asked the dreaded question! "So,
are you dating anyone?" Dum-ta-Dum-Dum
Well,
being a comedian (of the self-professed variety) my reply
was: "No, I am terminally single." Terminally Single!
I thought it was pretty funny! But, what was I really saying?
Will
I really die if I don't find a partner? Can treatments of
occasional dates and one-niters prolong my life? Is there
a hospice program for this? How long do I have?
Oh sure,
I have had periods of remission. Several times actually. Okay,
more times than I care to admit! The first time I went into
remission it was with a guy who wasn't gay. Yeah Right! For
two years we dated, but he wasn't gay. Then he decided to
straighten up and fly right; he has been happily married for
close to ten years now. From there I moved on to the Stylist.
Oh, but this one was not meant to be either; for I was just
the In-Town-Work week-Squeeze. We had some great times together
and have remained great friends. Some find this odd, but it
works for us. A short time later, the man that I thought was
my Prince Charming waltzed into my life. I spent the next
four years with Mr. Construction thinking; "This is the
one!" Wrong, Again! He woke up one morning with the fear
that he was no longer attractive! SO! I thought he was; who
cares what everyone else thinks! Sounds like I have been around
the block a time or two doesn't it? I was very young when
I started dating. Shut up, it's my story! Oh, there have been
more. The florist who just didn't deserve someone like me.
The Nurse's Aide who cared too much.
Maybe
I misdiagnosed myself, it's just a rash. Yeah, that's it just
a rash of bad luck. A rash of insecure, commitment shy, neurotic
men! Yeah that's the ticket! There is nothing wrong with me
at all!
Even
with all of the failures in the past; I would love to have
someone to come home to, someone to share dinner with, snuggle
on the couch with, watch movies with, and sleep like spoons
with. Heck, who doesn't?
I guess
what I need to do is start screening that "Potential
New Boyfriend" just a little bit better. Maybe I should
make them fill out a questionnaire?
Okay,
so I am not Terminally Single... Just Relationship Challenged!
Questionnaires
are available upon request! Ha! Ha!
JimmySuePartonspal@aol.com
© James Ward, All Rights Reserved
Article
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