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Are
You a Woman or a Chic?
Do You Categorize?
By Regina Ivey
It has always been my contention that a woman
is in her individual own, a woman, no matter what her sexual
orientation or physical appearance. As a categorized whole,
a group, we are all women, but individually dissected whole
we are each a unique woman. Categories lend little to who
we really are and will broadly depict us as if we together
are the entire puzzle or section thereof. Not the individual
piece that completes the scenery.
This
said, let me tell you about a night out at one of our local
gay pubs with my partner and a couple of close friends. Perhaps
I should detail this a bit further for you... A night out
with my partner, her ex-girlfriend and her ex-girlfriend's
ex-girlfriend. Confusing categorizations? Could be if you
don't stay on your toes.
Upon
arriving that night we found a table, not always an easy task
at David's Bar. The table, nestled mid-way in the bar was
surrounded by small groups of men, gay men, and we being the
only females in the bar that night perched ourselves among
them. After a few drinks and some very casual conversation
our two friends began speaking of their previous relationship
together and the trials and tribulations of dating again.
One friend, my partner's ex-girlfriend's ex-girlfriend (the
designated driver), said that it was difficult to start dating
again because she is not a drinker and the only social setting
in our community was one of the three gay bars. Our other
friend, my partner's ex-girlfriend, explained that she had
no problem dating within the bar scene, but it was necessary
when dating to determine whether the pursued interest was
a woman or a chic.
Never
realizing that there was a difference and feeling rather naive
about dating at the moment, I asked her to explain the difference.
She briefly considered my question, and expanded the comment
by explaining. She said that a chic is someone that you go
home with, spend a comfortable evening with... and leave before
she wakes in the morning. A woman on the other hand, is someone
that you take home, spend an evening with, perhaps a lifetime
and pray that she will never leave.
I
spent some time contemplating this categorization and considering
myself very fortunate that I have a very deep and loving relationship
with my partner... no dating for me thank you very much! With
this concept in mind however, consider that you, the woman,
bring the woman home. The both of you spend the evening cozily
sharing some great conversation, an exquisite candlelit dinner
and a close complete feeling. You ask yourself, where has
she been all of my life! You sleepily tuck yourself safely
in her arms and... wake in the morning to nothing but a cold
pillow. Are you now the chic? She has left you cold, alone
and facing the morning with this very question, but perhaps
you are just a woman hoping to find the right woman.
Woman
or Chic? What determines which category you fall within? Do
you really need to know? Does it matter? Whether dating or
in a long term relationship, isn't it possible that we are
much more than the puzzle or a categorized section of the
puzzle? We are each individuals with unique qualities like
and unlike any other women and within ourselves the only piece
that can complete the scenery.
© Regina Ivey, All Rights Reserved
Article
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