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Get
the Dish with Miss Priscilla Pride!
by Miss
Priscilla Pride
Excerpts
from Priscilla's Diary! -- April 2000
Dear
Diary,
Monday
- February 14, 2000
I used my modem from my limo for the first time. Thanks
to my chauffeur Fabrizio (he's so handy when it comes to laying
down... cable and wiring that is...), I made entries in the
new laptop for my next column. I just love all this global
connectivity, it's so hi-tech, sleek and sexy! I think I'll
enter some sneak peeks to my latest column here, just in case
the old gal crashes and burns, the laptop that is!
Hi kiddies! Priscilla is back with the Dish about
that special hearts and flowers day, that's right -- Cupid's
birthday... February 14, Valentine's Day! I'm still working
off those extra pounds from all the chocolates and bonbons
from my many secret admirers out there. Fabrizio is still
seeing his chiropractor since he almost got a hernia carrying
the many bundles of joy sent to moi... you're all such dears...
kiss, kiss, munch, munch!
Every
Long Island GLBT bar held such lovely soirees. Priscilla is
still soaking my tootsies from all the dancing and party hopping.
Let's all give it up to all of our bar owners for their cute
staff and all the party splendor... smooches darlings... you
all outdid yourselves once again!
Cupid's
arrows were poised and readied to aim his love darts across
Long Island. Many hearts were pierced, some broken (tisk,
tisk) but most were shot full of love (the names are too many
to list here, you all know who you are darlings!). Your cards
and letters warmed Priscilla's heart once again. I need another
man and then maybe Valentine's Day could be special again
for little old me! Hmmm, I seem to recall Auntie
M's Long
Island Pride Parade fundraiser has a gay man auction
that plans to rival last year's. Well, I'll just need to raid
the cookie jar for some loot and stake my claim on February
25. More later...
Saturday
- February 26, 2000
I am sitting at the laptop making my latest entries. There
is some news from the Pride Parade front. As we all know June
11 marks Long Island PRIDE's 10th Anniversary and
the committee is planning such fun and frivolity. Club
608 and Auntie
M's fundraisers were very successful. Sandy
Faison, Fund-raising Chairperson for the Parade Committee,
outdid herself once again. (PSST... I snagged me a HUNK, with
a capital H. Suffice it to say Priscilla woke up this morning
with a smile on my face and a song in my heart. I outbid those
other guys for Antonio. I am drawn to Italian men; it must
be something about those tight pants and hairy chests. Fabrizio
is sworn to secrecy, but of course it cost me a fortune to
keep him quiet about who won my heart. Antonio is just a pseudonym
of course!). Blanche
and The
Bunkhouse fundraisers will be such successes that
the Parade
Committee is pleased that preparations for their Spring
Dance, April 8 at the Sayville VFW, is well underway.
Tickets are selling fast darlings, so don't be left holding
the proverbial bag. Buy fast kiddies and enjoy the fun these
great guys and gals have planned. A simple frock will do since
it is an evening affair in April at the Sayville VFW; after
all we all know that joint ain't the Plaza. But what they
do with crepe paper...will set your heart aflutter.
I
decided to go shopping today for some new frocks. I couldn't
decide where to go and still remain incognito. I remembered
that Omar the Tent Maker and Raoul of Bayonne opened up shops
in that chic new Roosevelt Field Mall. In case you're wondering
darlings, Priscilla is a full figured gal and proud of it.
I can wear fabric like no one else and believe me Omar's designs
are simply fabulous for us big-boned gals. He knows how to
swag a bolt of fabric on a gal's body like no other designer.
Anyway, as I was strolling in the mall behind my new shades
and under a large brimmed hat, whom should I see? Ainsley
Harriott! For all you not in the know kids out there,
Ainsley is the hottest new African-American chef with his
own talk/cooking show on that FABOO peacock network (love
those feathers), NBC, each weekday morning at 10 AM. He originated
in the UK and is such a dream. He puts new meaning to the
phrase, "The blacker the berry..." well, never mind,
you catch my drift darlings. I see him primping and preening
and I walk over and tap him on the back and yell, "Ainsley,
you tall drink of Godiva liqueur, come over and give Priscilla
some bubbling, brown sugar!" After Fabrizio pried Ainsley's
hands off my body (no one can keep their hands off me lately,
what's a gal to do?), he told me that he had two Long Island
Gays on his show that day. With pen and pad in hand, I hid
behind the poles and cameras. Who do I spy in the audience,
none other than Dana Jay Stevens? He's that hunky blonde
from Babylon, and he's winning an apron answering some question
about balls...oh, I think meat was in there somewhere but
who can hear with all those other gay men and lesbians screaming,
"Ainsley, Ainsley!" Give away free gifts and everyone
becomes as cheap as a whore in a thrift shop. I look up on
stage as the show is about to begin and quelle suprise!
It's none other than Jim Pizzo, Co-Executive Director and
Treasurer for the Long Island Pride Parade Committee.
I hear something about his worst cooking nightmare and am
shocked. Anyone who is anyone in the Long Island GLBT community
knows what a chef extraordinaire Jim is. I attended many a
soiree and have gorged my, er, I mean gauged my review by
the licking sounds coming from the guests' mouths as they
cleaned their plates. Jim always gets 5 out of 5 licks, and
in the kitch too. He is not the winner of the worst chef on
Long Island but came in second place. He is so cute modeling
those consolation prizes. Oh, you go Jim, you apron wearing,
mug toting, oven mitt winner you! Oh my stars, Jim almost
passed out when he heard this taping was to air Monday, February
28. He is mortified. If he only knew he would not have looked
like something out of the old JC Penney catalog. Jim, Priscilla
says, "Be proud! No one wears grunge like you dearie!
On you, it looks chic!"
Sunday -- February 27, 2000
News from the Drag Queen front... Last night's Long
Island Drag Invasion 2000 rivaled scenes from Priscilla,
Queen of the Desert (yes, dearies they bought the
rights to use my book title about my trip to the Sahara a
few years back) and To
Wong Foo. Tiaras aglow and gowns beaded and slit
to heaven's doors, Long Island GLBTs needed sunglasses to
protect themselves from all the UV (Ultra Varnished) rays.
The hairspray bill alone surpassed the national debt. All
of Priscilla's ultra chic sisters looked simply FABOO... Fabrizio
had to contain himself as he watched them come and go. He's
such a stud and a major catch for any gal. I have to tell
you, I'm even tempted to reach out and touch him myself when
I forget he's my employee... but we all know about what they
say about pooping where one eats, it's just plain messy, messy,
messy!
Sunday
-- March 19, 2000
I attended The
Community House of Long Island Open House. Anyone
who is anyone in the GLBT community on Long Island was there.
The ensembles ranged from casual to ultra chic, the food was
simply divine and the gossip... well, Priscilla is checking
a fact or two, so watch out for my next column to give you
the entire Poop. It's not to be missed! Those darlings at
The Community House really went all out. Darlings,
pop in some time and see what this haven has to offer!
Sunday
-- March 26, 2000
Thank God for Fabrizio or else I could never have greased...oops...slipped
into my leather ensemble for last evenings Long
Island Ravens Brass Ball. I looked very stylish in
my one-piece outfit designed by Dominatrix,
that hot new fashion designer. What she does with leather,
whips and chains is mind-boggling. I was the toast of the
evening, but nothing compared to all those sweaty, hunks from
The Eagle. They had a Master/Save auction that put
new meaning to the word "bondage." There's something
about a man in leather that sends me straight into Sweat &
Danger mode. Too bad those gay gods showed no interest in
moi or else Priscilla would have been out of that one-piece
faster than you can say, "Michele Pfeiffer as Cat Woman
makes my heart PURRR. Meow, meow!"
Well
Diary, it's time for me to put you away. I love sharing my
many exploits with you and until we meet again, I'll be on
the prowl for more juicy tidbits to titillate your sexy pages!
Until then, let the communities beware, Priscilla is everywhere!
Ciao
bellas!
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